stomach i failed you, then you failed me. never again old friend, never again
dear friends,
i write you today with a disgusting stomach churning tale. caution.
those of you who have known me for a long time can attest to my on-again-off-again relationship with the hooch. those of you who knew me a decade ago can attest to my extreme conservatism and fondness for labeling myself a prohibitionist. in fact, the only thing i found problematic with prohibition was that it was a restriction of the beloved free market. later in high-school i hosted martha-stewart style drinking affairs but never drank enough to be drunk. i eased up on the prohibition and had friends barf in my parent's toilet like a normal kid. then i went away to england where i was of legal drinking age. i drank occassionally, never really being a big residence-life-first-year-away-from-home lush. except for five drunken days spent in ireland for st. patrick's day and a debaucherous night on the isle of skye i was a very well behaved girl. in second year i was back to the drinking sabbatical, no wine at wine and cheeses, no beer out of a funnel or with pancakes. this lasted until the summer before fourth year when i went to the university of notre dame. i was at a nerdzo seminar with a lot of kids from schools where they have to sign contracts not to smoke, drink or dance. [caution: smoking leads to drinking, drinking leadings to sex, and sex leads to dancing. totally fuckin' footloose at places like this] anyway my dear friend chris and i somehow began a mission to corrupt some of our fellow members of team sociology with r-rated movies and nights of drinking. it was like trying to give someone their teen-age years in three weeks. i came back and re-discovered silly drunken nights with my housemates. i began drinking at concerts. i started liking beer. at a certain wedding in the niagara region i drank enough wine to induce shawl dancing. then came grad school. that's when night's out went from being fun to being vital for my mental health. and, when i first started grad school i knew no one so these nights out were few and far between. i have a rule about drinking alone, i don't do it. anyway, so there was that time sean and hilary came to visit and i drank sean under the table. and several nights at thompson or on crescent with dave and carla. drinking wine out of a water bottle with self and hez at homecoming, and my joel plaskett birthday (and the night before that when my friend taben drank herself blind). there was this summer in poland when i boozed it up with the clergy. prior to last night however my largest booze-up was pre-poland, early in my stay at the icrm, when i had a mini high-school reunion with carrie, caryn, and ryan. carrie has followed a similar drinking-trajectory as me and we had never been drunk together in our 10 years as friends. i drank an entire bottle of southern comfort. and agreed to go to dance club called me-ow. on none of these occassions did i puke. in fact i have never puked because of drinking.
well, that last statement is no longer true. pops montreal turned out to be quite fun with a good group of people and lots of strange pops flowing and mixing with polish vodka, malibu, peach schnapps. i didn't actually drink that much (maybe someone who was there will disagree). i remember consuming the following:
- 1 malibu+ tahiti treat like c-plus product
- 1 vodka + presidents choice green able
- 1 vodka + tahiti treat
- 1 vodka + green apple
i was making the drinks myself. they were probably strong. and i hadn't had dinner (more on that later). i was feeling happy. and then somewhere around 1 just before the last of our guests left i knew i was going to puke. i ran to the bathroom and totally barfed. so gross, but i splashed some water on my face, brushed my teeth and pulled myself together. the last guests left and i confessed my totally disgusting barfy nature to luke. i am not really ashamed so much as confused. why stomach have you failed me now and not in past? i think it is not how much i drank but the combination of pop + alcohol. i feel it to be equivalent to drinking 12 mike's hard lemonade. gut rot. the thought of that makes me want to re-barf.
anyway, for added grossness i will share with you my stomach contents from yesterday:
no breakfast, 3 leacock samosas, 1 600ml diet coke, some gummi worms, more diet coke, a double chocolate pepridge farm cookie, some overly garlicy garlic bread, half a bounty bar, some chips of various flavours.
i am feeling much better now. and, i would like to publicly apologize to my stomach.
cam
i write you today with a disgusting stomach churning tale. caution.
those of you who have known me for a long time can attest to my on-again-off-again relationship with the hooch. those of you who knew me a decade ago can attest to my extreme conservatism and fondness for labeling myself a prohibitionist. in fact, the only thing i found problematic with prohibition was that it was a restriction of the beloved free market. later in high-school i hosted martha-stewart style drinking affairs but never drank enough to be drunk. i eased up on the prohibition and had friends barf in my parent's toilet like a normal kid. then i went away to england where i was of legal drinking age. i drank occassionally, never really being a big residence-life-first-year-away-from-home lush. except for five drunken days spent in ireland for st. patrick's day and a debaucherous night on the isle of skye i was a very well behaved girl. in second year i was back to the drinking sabbatical, no wine at wine and cheeses, no beer out of a funnel or with pancakes. this lasted until the summer before fourth year when i went to the university of notre dame. i was at a nerdzo seminar with a lot of kids from schools where they have to sign contracts not to smoke, drink or dance. [caution: smoking leads to drinking, drinking leadings to sex, and sex leads to dancing. totally fuckin' footloose at places like this] anyway my dear friend chris and i somehow began a mission to corrupt some of our fellow members of team sociology with r-rated movies and nights of drinking. it was like trying to give someone their teen-age years in three weeks. i came back and re-discovered silly drunken nights with my housemates. i began drinking at concerts. i started liking beer. at a certain wedding in the niagara region i drank enough wine to induce shawl dancing. then came grad school. that's when night's out went from being fun to being vital for my mental health. and, when i first started grad school i knew no one so these nights out were few and far between. i have a rule about drinking alone, i don't do it. anyway, so there was that time sean and hilary came to visit and i drank sean under the table. and several nights at thompson or on crescent with dave and carla. drinking wine out of a water bottle with self and hez at homecoming, and my joel plaskett birthday (and the night before that when my friend taben drank herself blind). there was this summer in poland when i boozed it up with the clergy. prior to last night however my largest booze-up was pre-poland, early in my stay at the icrm, when i had a mini high-school reunion with carrie, caryn, and ryan. carrie has followed a similar drinking-trajectory as me and we had never been drunk together in our 10 years as friends. i drank an entire bottle of southern comfort. and agreed to go to dance club called me-ow. on none of these occassions did i puke. in fact i have never puked because of drinking.
well, that last statement is no longer true. pops montreal turned out to be quite fun with a good group of people and lots of strange pops flowing and mixing with polish vodka, malibu, peach schnapps. i didn't actually drink that much (maybe someone who was there will disagree). i remember consuming the following:
- 1 malibu+ tahiti treat like c-plus product
- 1 vodka + presidents choice green able
- 1 vodka + tahiti treat
- 1 vodka + green apple
i was making the drinks myself. they were probably strong. and i hadn't had dinner (more on that later). i was feeling happy. and then somewhere around 1 just before the last of our guests left i knew i was going to puke. i ran to the bathroom and totally barfed. so gross, but i splashed some water on my face, brushed my teeth and pulled myself together. the last guests left and i confessed my totally disgusting barfy nature to luke. i am not really ashamed so much as confused. why stomach have you failed me now and not in past? i think it is not how much i drank but the combination of pop + alcohol. i feel it to be equivalent to drinking 12 mike's hard lemonade. gut rot. the thought of that makes me want to re-barf.
anyway, for added grossness i will share with you my stomach contents from yesterday:
no breakfast, 3 leacock samosas, 1 600ml diet coke, some gummi worms, more diet coke, a double chocolate pepridge farm cookie, some overly garlicy garlic bread, half a bounty bar, some chips of various flavours.
i am feeling much better now. and, i would like to publicly apologize to my stomach.
cam
posted by Ms. Cam at 11:24
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